Tortuga News!
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June 20
While Salvador, Lucio & Coviello have some time off…
For the first time, Scarmouche, Raphael and D’Angelo performed two weekends at the Chippewa Valley Renaissance Faire in Chippewa Falls, WI! The boys LOVED it! After weeks of heat and humidity in the Atlanta area, it was so nice to enjoy cooler weather for a while…heck, at times, it was down right chilly. The festival folk were friendly, the patrons were delightful and the festival site, just downright cute. Visiting Minnesota fans could be heard gasping at how green everything was…and how very pretty. As we’d never been/seen this festival before, we asked for people to give their opinions of CVRF…and here’s what we got:
“It's a lot like Minnesota was 15-20 years ago. Lolly Foy is the queen, and it's small, but growing. We were there the second weekend and it was a blast. Their joust is perfect, as it is down in a little niche, so the hillside seating lets EVERYONE see, not just the ones in the first 3 rows :) And the stages are great. Lots of room and lots of seating. It's only year 2, but they are doing things right - OH and they have FLUSH toilets - not port-a-potties :)”
— Stacie Braford
(she had us as “flush toilets”)
“It is a nice smaller faire. we have more of a village atmosphere then the bigger metropolis faires of Bristol and Shakopee. I think you will enjoy it.”
— Ian Kleeba
When asking friends that attended to let us know what they thought, we got this from Elizabeth Young:
“The Twins were in rare form this weekend. They were entertaining as always but were able to up the entertainment level with many Wisconsin jokes based on the dairy industry of the state. The puns fell off their tongues with ease and had us rolling in the aisles. Their ability to improvise is such a wonderful gift that they share with us all. I am not one who is moved to outward, vocal laughter but this weekend they moved me to tears and outbursts of joy! I just want to say "Thank you!" for the well needed release!”
And from MN Tortuga Twins Fan Club Chapter Head, Tracie Pogue:
“Back home after a really nice day at the Chippewa Falls/valley RF. What a wonderful time, was serenaded by the Tortuga Twins, I was honored yet embarrassed at the same time. I am very bashful as you all know. Hopefully the guys had a good run in Wisc. so they would consider returning. It was so nice to see them earlier in the year so it won’t seem like forever before we see them in Minn. Anyone who has not been out to the CVRF you should try to come out tomorrow check the place out. By the end of the day tomorrow we will be saying goodbye to the Twins as they will once again hit the road. Hope to see some of you tomorrow, or if not then we will see you soon at MRF.
We are home at last from our day Chippewa Falls Ren fest. It was a little on the warm side but it was a good time.”
To sum it all up…all we can say is…THANK YOU CHIPPEWA FALLS!
As part of promotions for CVRF, the boys were on two radio stations WAYY Talk Radio 70.0 and the Big Cheese 92.9. Arriving in full Tortuga Twins costume, they were delightful for both interviews (which, by the way, were located in the same building). I, for one, appreciated that they “talked slower” for me since I’m in the South. If you heard the interviews, you’ll understand my last comment. If you missed them, fear not, both interviews will soon be posted on the Members side of the Twins site.
Speaking of the Twins website, look for lots of changes in the next few months. We are administering a total re-vamp of our site…including the Members side of the site. We’re really excited and can’t wait to show it off to you, but…patience my sweets…patience.
More Members Only news:
While in GA, Scaramouche, Raphael and D’Angelo did an exciting photo shoot with the fabulous and oh so talented Brent Walker & Suzu Tran. Kind of a Steampunkie look. We have four photos from the shoot in an album on our facebook page, but the remainder will be posted in the Members side of this site. They’re AMAZING!
After Chippewa Falls, the boys are splitting up for a while. Scaramouche and his family will be off to Kansas City to vist family/friends, D’Angelo will be jetting to Florida to spend time at home with his wife and doglettes…and Raphael will be winging his way to Tacoma, WA to do a little acting in a film. It’s going to be a fun Fourth for everyone.
Well, my friends, that’s all there is for now. Hope you’re all enjoying your Summer and hope to see you down the Tortuga road (which will be Silver Leaf Renaissance Faire, btw).
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all! -
May 31
Well, it’s finally become hot and muggy in Georgia.
Weekend Six
It was Pirate Weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival, but we’re pretty sure most of the Pirates were looking for an island surrounded by water they could cool off in by the end of this weekend. Hot and sweaty Tortugas were the norm (and we don’t mean in a good way), which made Tortugas look forward to stripping to the waist for their “R” rated shows at the end of the day. Saturday found both Scaramouche and D’Angelo caught up in the “Rapture” and we have photos to prove it. When the “clerical error” was discovered, both Twins were returned to they could entertain the fans on Sunday. (If you missed this, you really should “Like” the Twins facebook page and keep up with their shenanigans each week. www.facebook.com/TortugaTwins ).
Weekend Seven
Ahhhh…Memorial Day Weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival. Three days of yummy Tortuga Twins. Who could ask for anything more? I’m gonna let you come along with me this weekend for my adventures. Today is Friday, May 27th and I am currently sitting in a Caribou Coffee shop somewhere in Atlanta. Raphael drove us here so we could get in a little writing time with his friend Allison Williams (of Aerial Angels). This is the first time I’ve ever tried to use my computer with the battery. I know…I know. I’ve had the darned thing for 7 years and never used the battery with it. And, now I know why. An hour into my writing session the battery started dying. Luckily I was smart enough to bring my power cord and am now just plugging (errr…typing) along. Oh…the writing thing? Well, you do know that Raphael (Riki/Mordant) does write…right? Of course you do. Right now he’s staring very intensely at his computer screen. I think he’s editing his chapter for the next book he’s collaborating on. I think. Scaramouche (Ronn) and his family are on their way back to Georgia from New Orleans where they were celebrating the birthday with one very illustrious Dakota Granados. Fun times indeed. D’Angelo should be on his way back from Florida where he spent time with his lovely wife. I look forward to seeing them both tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow…there’s going to be a Field Trip for the Bearcrawling Nation (where Tortugas and Raphael/Riki/Mordant have done some pod casts) and Mordant World (aka Raphael/Riki) followers. It’s the first time this event has happened and everyone is really excited. Here’s the plan: Everyone meets at the Half Wit Harbour Stage after the first Tortuga Twins show (roughly 12:15ish) for a little Meet & Greet with Mordant, Big C and the rest of the Bearcrawling Nation entourage. There will be another meeting after the final show of the day and then…dinner out with everyone. I’ll let ya know how everything goes tomorrow night. I’ll make notes, take pictures and just do some fun reporting for ya. How’s that?
Rough storms came through the area before I got here today. Most of the damage happened last night when I was tucked safely in my bed I Carolina. On the down side…power outages, downed trees, etc. On the upside…cooler weather. Now to see if it stays cool through the weekend. One can only hope.
This is the final weekend for The Blue Team at Castle Muskogee in Oklahoma. I just finished having a text conversation with Salvador as he waits on his flight out to join Lucio and Coviello for their three day weekend. I’ve put the preverbial bug in his ear that they should take lots of photos and let you peeps know what’s going on while they’re on the road. If all goes well, you’ll see more from them not only on their own pages, but on the Twins fb fan page too. If not, feel free to nag them about it whenever you see them. Oh…here’s a thought. You guys could send us pictures when you see them at a festival near you. We’d also love to hear about your adventures and what you thought of their shows. The email address is thetwins@tortugatwins.com .
I can't begin to tell everyone how much fun we've had at the Casle in Muskogee, and how much we've learned. This is an absolutely beautiful faire, that just keeps growing. This year they built an entirely new Italian Plaza, complete with pizza and a stage! :: grins :: We performed on the Meadow Stage, which was conveniently located between the Italian Plaza and the Scotting Quarter. I think we were supposed to be emissaries of some kind between these two warring factions. Either that or neither of them wanted us. But that couldn't be it. Right? Right?
The Castle also puts on several after-hours parties that patrons are invited to. The Kings Feast, a Masked Ball, and Caleigh. I'll admit to being a bit hesitant when we went to go to the first one of these. Then found myself happily surprised with just how much fun they were. And we even learned a few classical dances. We'll see if we remember them come next year!
And while they're beautiful and a nice touch. It's an interesting thing to be upstaged by a peacock. Grrr ;-)
— Salvador
Well, it’s Saturday morning on a hot and muggy Georgia day. So much for cooler weather, but nothing keeps me from my dashing Tortugas. It’s a busy morning for me as I run around saying “Hello”, again, to people I haven’t seen in a year. My how I’ve missed these wonderful friends that make their living on the road. No finer folks will you ever meet and, if you care to take the time, no better friends can you make. The first Tortuga Twins show of the day has just ended. It’s lovely to see my boyz in action again and even lovelier to see their fans enjoying the shows and interactions with the Twins before, during and after a show. I’m always inspired by the lives they touch with their laughter and the burdens they ease. It’s amazing what laughter, a warm smile, gentle touch and a kind word can mean to someone…myself included. My favorite moments from this weekend included Charles McFall (Big C to some of you) being part of the Robin Hood Show…”I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause” an Asian guy pulled up on stage that did not speak English…lots of insurance jokes and my favorite “You’re laughing at the naughty jokes. That’s why none of us were raptured last week.”
The rest of this Memorial Day Weekend was just as hot…so hot, in fact, that many patrons were collapsing from the heat. Seriously. It’s days like this when I wonder just how these guys do this. They run around in tights, knee high boots and long sleeved shirts all day long…and they never stop. Running around on stage, never showing just how hot they really are, chatting with fans after shows. They’re amazing! I stood there looking at Scaramouche and realizing that he had sweat so much, his shirt was so wet, that I could actually see his tattoo through the shirt. Monday, I made it my job to make sure they had ice cold water after every show. It was HOT out there! I am so amazed at how these guys, and all faire entertainers, can perform in full garb outside when the temperatures reach in the 90’s and above. It is my firm belief that anyone that entertains anyone under these conditions deserves not only a tip (and a generous one), but also a “Thank You” from everyone that enjoys their shows.
The Final Weekend of the Georgia Renaissance Festival
I wasn’t able to make the trip back for the final weekend, but I’m told it was just as hot as the weekend before. I had several reports of people passing out in the heat, not Tortugas, but at least one close friend did. Regardless, it was a fabulous weekend and much fun was had by all. It was indeed a blast, Georgia, and Scaramouche, Raphael and D’Angelo look forward to doing it again next year.
On the Horizon
Siouxland Renaissance Festival
Salvador, Lucio & Coviello will be performing at the Siouxland Renaissance Festival in Sioux Falls, South Dakota once again this year. This Festival is for One Weekend and One Weekend ONLY! June 4th and 5th are the days you don’t want to miss…seriously!
The Gold Team will be performing at the Chippewa Valley Renaissance Faire in Chippewa Falls, WI June 11th thru 19th. We do not know which stage they will be on or shows time…yet…but will let you guys know as soon as we do. Be sure to visit our facebook fan page and look for posted events for more details or check out our Schedule on this site.
After a couple of weeks off, you can find the Gold Team at Silver Leaf Renaissance Faire in Battlecreek, MI. This year the Tortuga Twins will be performing for the entire run of this festival…July 9th thru August 7th. Again, we’ll let you know more info as we get it.
The very next weekend finds the Gold Team performing at the Bristol Renaissance Faire for one weekend and one weekend ONLY, August 13th and 14th!
Talk about busy little Tortugas…they are!
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all! -
May 21
What comes to mind when you think about Georgia?
Southern Belles? Pecan pies? Atlanta Braves? Nascar racing? Dragon Con in the fall?
To Tortuga Twins it means eight weeks of enjoying the Southern hospitality that can only be found in the great state of Georgia…and...the Georgia Renaissance Festival!
We are coming up on Weekend Number Five at the Georgia Renaissance Festival
Our very lovely and very capable Tortuga Twins Cart Minion/Georgia Chapter Head (for the Tortuga Twins Fan Club), Richelle Fast, has been doing her best to keep us informed about exactly what’s been going on the weekends.
Weekend One
Opening weekend was Fabulous! The weather was wonderful and lots of people came out to watch the shows. Troy Story has made it firmly in to the rotation of Twins shows this year and fans seem to be embracing it. Our new Tortuga Thongs were debuted at the Twins Merchandise Cart and seem to be rather popular amongst the ladies…and some of the guys. As a note: Raphael calls them “eye patches”.
Weekend Two
“The shows were good. On both days, they did Robin Hood twice, followed by Helen of Troy.
The rated R show Saturday was a "Salute to the Armed Forces" with lots of military jokes about Scaramouche and "submarines".
Sunday was an Easter themed show. The man they picked on was called "Chocolate Bunny" They made jokes about Easter "Baskets" and pooping jellybeans.”
As a note: Scaramouche was asking for “peeps” and “jelly beans” that weekend. Not sure if he actually got any, but know he got many responses on his facebook page.
Weekend Three
It was “Pet Friendly” weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival. That’s all the information I have about this particular weekend. Actually, that just means it was a weekend where people were allowed to bring their pets to fest with them…which is pretty cool when you think about it.
Weekend Four
“This weekend was HOT! Georgia showed us her muggy, humid side. It was also Mother’s Day Weekend which always leads to many Hot Moms being in the audience. Tortugas were happy…to say the least….sweating, but happy.”
Weekend Five
On Saturday, the weatherman had called for 70% chance of rain. Boy was he wrong! It was a gorgeous yet rather warm day. Unfortunately, a whole lot of people believed the rain threats and stayed away from fest. Those that came out anyway got to help us celebrate Scaramouches’ 46th birthday! And a very Happy Scaramouche Birthday weekend it was! I particularly enjoyed the R-rated show with its’ many references about his birthday which included an attempt to slap him 46 times with the “Mighty Glove of Bitch-slap” as the audience was counting them down. Raphael was smacking poor Scaramouche on the face and his butt while lamenting that he “was confused between this butt-face and this butt-butt”. It was all fun and games, though, as Scaramouche was heard to say “I smile because I’m sharing my birthday with the best damn people in the world!” It was a fun day for our long-haired Tortuga which included balloons tied to the cart and an unbelievable amount of gifts from so many wonderful fans/family/friends.
Meanwhile…
Salvador, Lucio & Coviello are performing weekends at the Castle Muskogee in Muskogee, Oklahoma on the Crown Stage.
In Other News…
Did you know that Scaramouche writes an advice column for Renaissance Festivals? Indeed he does. And…it’s quite popular. If you’d like to ask Scaramouche for some advice about fest, performing, life or…how does he get all that hair under a baseball cap?, go to www.facebook.com/scaramouchetortuga and leave him a question. His advice column is posted every Tuesday evening.
Speaking of facebook…you can now find all six Tortugas on their individual pages as well as the main Tortuga Twins page…heck, even our illustrious Fan Club President/Layna (that’s me) has her own page. Here’s the run down.
There’s also Raphael/Riki’s alter ego
Feel free to visit any and all pages and “Like” their pages.
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all. -
March 21
It’s been quite interesting performing at the Arizona Renaissance Festival this year. Let’s just let our roving Arizona updater, Cindy Gray, tell you things from her perspective while viewing Tortuga Twins shows from the boys merchandise cart.
Weekend Three (including President’s Day)
“Wind, rain, sunshine ... we had it all this weekend!
Saturday started with strong winds and lots of blowing dust, followed by a nice little downpour - some even reported a touch of hail, but I didn't see any. The guys canceled their last two shows of the day, coming out to visit with the few die-hards that showed up. Sunday was much better ... well, at least it wasn't windy! The day began cool but decent ... then showers started up in the afternoon and stuck around for most of the day. It wasn't nearly as bad as the day before and the guys did manage to do all four shows to delighted fans. Monday we finally saw sun! The weather was cool and breezy, but at least it was dry! People flocked into the festival in droves, and we had large crowds of enthusiastic fans all day! Business was booming!!
Trying to remember a few highlights from the shows: Sunday's S&S had D'Angelo very vocally expressing his displeasure at being glove-slapped in the eye - repeated, loud bellows of 'OW!' continued on for quite some time until Scaramouche said "we liked it better last week when you couldn't talk."”
Weekend Four
“It was flippin' bizarre!! Saturday was overcast and cool, but pretty good overall. Sunday was cold ... then the wind picked up ... then storm clouds started to roll in! We could see snow on the top of the Superstitions, then got word of snow in AJ - then on the other side of the festival site - and then on my head!! LOL! It mixed with some light rain and I heard some mention of hail, but I think it was just the snow - tiny "pellets" rather than flakes, but it was most assuredly not hail. After the brief 15 minutes of snowfall and light rain, the weather cleared out and the rest of the afternoon was clear and partly sunny. It was rather exciting for us desert dwellers!
The shows were great fun (but aren't they always). Some highlights from Saturday include the Robin Hood show ... they say that Robin "spun in a circle" and the guy took off running a lap around the whole stage. The Twins stood there and gawked for a minute, then Raphael said "we have been doing this show for 20 years and no one has ever done that!" A bit later, Robin repeated "go ahead, make my day" in a particularly squeaky, high-pitched voice. Scaramouche said "I just want to thank you for making me look macho."
We also had a great exchange during S&S. After they stripped off their shirts (and Raphael commented on getting his mic cord stuck in his thong), Scaramouche said "I plan on doing this show another 10-15 years. Please let me know when this no longer looks good." Raphael responded: "About 8:30 tonight." There was also a bachelorette party in the audience. Scaramouche told the bride-to-be that it was not too later to change her mind. The other two both chimed in with "ALL THIS could be yours."”
Weekend Five
“There have been lots of great shows, of course - Saturday after the last show, I saw people still laughing and talking about how amazing the show was as they walked off and Sunday's S&S show was just as off the hook. The first thing that caught my attention was Scaramouche's "obviously, definitely" - a pause - a request to "repeat that please ... now, into the mic ..." and a young man's voice saying "the sexiest man alive"! Shortly after that, a reference was made to "a teenage boy who just had a coming out party" to which D'Angelo responded "as long as he doesn't have a 'going in' party!" It was all downhill after that. They were so off script by the time they got to the "pursuit of hap-penis" and the whole camping with Michael Jackson thing that Raphael and Scaramouche were going in one direction while D'Angelo was trying desperately to get them back on track - he was saying his lines very slowly and deliberately, over-exaggerated: "oonly one prooobleeeem ... nooot enough wooood - I was supposed to say that joke five minutes ago!" There was also fun with the pre-show stuff - Scaramouche setting up some teenage boy by bringing two hot women to sit on him, then telling him if he was really a pimp he could get those women to kiss. His friend suddenly jumped up, cell phone in hand and a huge grin on his face, ready and waiting to catch the whole thing on video. I'm sure I could go on for pages and pages, it was that much fun!! “
In Other News… Stage Show
The boys have been working very hard on a script for their new “stage show”. Yes, you read it right. The Tortuga Twins have begun work on another Palooza- type show which they hope to be performing soon. I pinched this from Scaramouche’s facebook Fan Page: “In the new Touring Stage show we're writing, we have an entire segment extolling our love of breasts. If you too, are a fan of the boobies, click the "Like" link.” I can’t wait to see what else they have up their sleeves.
Renaissance Festival Awards
Don’t know if you’ve heard about this, but…
The Tortuga Twins won in three separate categories in the 6th Annual Renaissance Festival Awards for 2010.
- First Place –Best Non-Musical Group
- Fourth Place – Best Stage Combat Group
- Second Place – Best Bawdy Act
The boys are really excited about winning and would like to thank everyone that voted for them.
Cookbook
Our long awaited Cookbook should be ready within the next few months. We’re as excited about it as you are and can’t wait to start trying out those amazing recipes! Chef Jax has been notified and the Twins will be working with her when they get to Georgia in April. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!
Birthdays
Our March Birthday Babes and Dudes are as follows:
March 1st, Chris Kamell from AZ; March 3rd, Angi Blake & Evelina Fletcher from AZ; March 5th, Rick Petit from NC; March 10th, Brittany Tran from MN; March 14th, Sherry Byars (cart minion) from AZ; March 16th, Eric Brown from MN; March 17th, Marie Gonzales from AZ & Kyrie Wilcox from NC; March 18th, Cathy Sipprell from NC; March 19th, Angela Wolf from MN; March 20th, David Frank from MN, March 21st, Sam Cooke from AZ; March 22nd, Zahra Kahn from NC; March 25th, Ashely Quynn from MN & David Wendler from GA; March 27th, Kerri Helms from GA; March 27th, Stephanie Kalus from MN; and March 28th, Corey Harmer from MN, Colleen Hollenbeck from NC, Mandy Lappe & Bobby Weston from AZ. Happy, Happy Birthday to ALL!
Private Parties
The Twins have already been booked for several “Private Parties” this year. One is coming up on March 23rd in Arizona. Not only did the lovely ladies that booked this event show exceptional taste in hiring the boys as their entertainment, they also saved a bundle by booking them at a fraction of the normal cost for such events. You see, right now the Tortuga Twins are running a sale on bookings for Private Shows. “What was once $3000+ is now only $750 - $1000 (some restrictions apply *** ).” It just makes sense NOT to pass up this opportunity while you can.
Journals are UP
Reminding ALL Tortuga Twins Fan Club Members that Journal entries by the Twins are up in the Members Side of the Tortuga Twins site. It’s the one place you can get a glimpse in to the private lives of your favorite Tortuga…pictures included. To join the Fan Club, or to renew your membership, simply follow the links on this page (to join online) or visit the Official Tortuga Twins Merchandise Cart when the boys come near your town. It’s only $9.99/year and well worth the price of admission.
In closing, just wanted to share the following note the Twins received from a fan recently and ask you all to keep her in your thoughts.
“Just a note of appreciation…
I have been fighting cancer for two years. You can't imagine how much it means to come to your show(s) and be able to laugh and have a good time, despite the struggles of treatment. The last couple of weeks in AZ have been especially appreciated, as it has been a rough year so far.
Thanks so much for what you do.
Jen”This quote says much: “Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life”
And from Scaramouche to Jen: “We're so glad if we can help even a little. “
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all. -
February 19
Today is the first day of the second weekend at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. I hear that it’s raining there, but that won’t stop Tortugas from having fun. This is a three day weekend for our handsome trio and I can’t wait to hear from everyone when it’s over. Until then, a little catching up is in order. When I left you last, the Tortuga Twins (a mix of Blue and Gold) were gearing up for their final weekend (which ended with a “Student Day” on Monday) at the Florida Renaissance Festival in Miami. As luck would have it, their Saturday started off a little drizzly, but there was no real rain. After noon, the people really came out to fest and it turned out to be a pretty good day. “Some old school fans from Bay Area (Largo) days came out and they were very happy to see us!” D’Angelo reported. It was a great experience for the Tortuga Twins and real boost to Florida fans that have long awaited the return of their favorite men in yellow and black. As a final note about fest in Florida, there was talk of D’Angelo being on a float for the Gasparilla Pirate Festival the very next weekend. Haven’t heard if he actually did yet, but I’m sure that adventure will turn up in his monthly journal he writes for the Members side of this site. As explained to me…Gasparilla is Tampa Bay’s version of Mardi Gras and, from viewing the website, it’s one really big shindig!
Arizona Renaissance Festival
Opening weekend of the Arizona Renaissance Festival was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.
From Tortuga Twins cart mauve/TT Fan Club AZ Chapter Head, Cindy Gray, we have this:
We are happy to report that D’Angelo did regain his voice just in time for the second weekend.“After weeks of colder-than-usual weather, the sun was out in full force this weekend with temps between 75-80 degrees. People were ready to come out and bask in the warmth, and business was booming!
Saturday began with Muggsy's voice over the mic from backstage just before the first Ded Bob show asking "do you remember how this show starts?" Thus began what he refers to as "Dress Rehearsal weekend"! D’Angelo had lost his voice, so that was the chief source of humor all weekend. (He said he felt fine, just no voice.) On Saturday, I heard Scaramouche threaten to stab him in the throat then muse that it would probably be an improvement. Sunday, likewise, found much teasing at D'Angelo's expense. Scaramouche said D’Angelo started his career as a mime and apparently was going to finish it as one. They said D'Angelo was going through puberty. During Troy Story, Paris swooned and D'Angelo says "I said at my feet, not on my feet". Scaramouche said "oh, I guess I couldn't hear you." Best of all, tho ... the guys repeated Robin Hood for their third show and D’Angelo came out to find his mic was dead! "First, no voice - now, no mic!" He left the stage to fix it and the guys proceeded without him ... doing the introductions, Raphael saying "He's Raphael" and both tripping over whose name goes when, finally ending with "and we're confused!"
When you come to the Arizona Renaissance Festival…and we know you will…you can find us on the Boat House Stage where we do shows daily (weekends) at 11:30am, 1:00pm, 3:15pm and 4:45pm.
Merchandise
We want to remind you to visit the Tortuga Twins Merchandise cart while at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. We have several different T-shirt designs including the new Tap Out Ladies shirt, at least 5 DVD’s (including the Captain Morgan Pirate Show which was filmed in Arizona), hats, bootie shorts, pins, cinch sacks and hoodies. You can also join, and re-up to, the Tortuga Twins Fan Club at the cart for only $9.99…which also reminds me that we have a Meet and Greet coming up towards the end of fest for Fan Club Members ONLY. Make sure your membership is current so you won’t miss out on a fun night of socializing and, perhaps, gaming with your favorite Tortuga Twins.
What’s Coming Up?
Although it’s not officially listed on our Schedule yet, we do have two confirmed performance dates to add this year, so far.
The Blue Team (Salvador, Lucio & Coviello) will be performing at the Muskogee Oklahoma Renaissance Festival in May (I believe it runs the entire month of May). As soon as we find out what stage they’re on, and the times, we’ll let you know.
The Gold Team (D’Angelo, Scaramouche & Raphael) will be performing June 11th, 12th, 18th and 19th at the Chippewa Valley Renaissance Festival in Chippewa Falls, WI. Again, as soon as we know more details, we’ll pass them along to all of you.
Visit Us on Facebook
We’d love to have you visit us on our facebook page and give the page a “like” if you’re so inclined…suggest us to your friends…hang out for a while…enjoy the scenery and participate in the fun. All Tortugas are active on this page, from time to time. We look forward to your posts. We also recommend you visit individual pages, manned by individual Tortugas, as well.
- Scaramouche Tortuga
- Mordant World (Raphael’s alter ego)
- Salvador Tortuga
- Lucio Tortuga
- Coviello Tortuga
Follow us on Twitter
Yes, Tortugas to Tweet. Here are the links for those that participate. As a note, we are currently brow beating Scaramouche to try and get him to make the leap to Twitterdom…wish us luck.
Fan Club Members Birthdays
We’d like to take this time to acknowledge our lovely (yes, even the guys) Fan Club members that are celebrating Birthdays this month. We began sending out our newly created Birthday Video to February folks on February 12th and hope you’ve enjoyed our small, but heartfelt gift to you.
February 2nd, Justin Hromi & Katy Trottier from MN; Feb. 3rd, Julia Gregos from MN & Katie Nagel from AZ;, Feb 4th, Deanna Hodges from AZ;, Feb. 5th, Nicolette Gorges from AZ, Pattie Hanvy from MN & Ian Wallis from NC; Feb. 7th, Debbie Stegall from NC and Rosa Valencia (that rascally cart vixen) from AZ; Feb 8th, Lynne Skinner from GA; Feb. 9th Jeff Sharrett (apologies for forgetting, dude) from GA; Feb. 11, Jenna Lory from MN; Feb 12th Thomas Rorvig from MN; Feb. 14th, Valerie Smith from NC; Feb 16th, Heather Morgan from GA; Feb. 17th, Abraham Kneifel from AZ & Dorian Ivie from GA; Feb. 19th, Hope Lockler (yes, we still think of you often) from TN (now, dammit) & Chris Collins from AZ; Feb 20th, Erica Benavinez and William Hutchins from AZ; Feb 22nd, Paul Lehner from NC; Feb 24th, Curtis Ness and Jim Towey from MN; Feb 25th, Willow Balas (who’s in Paris right now…btw, we dislike you just a little…kidding) from WI & Kasandra Collins from AZ; Feb. 26th, Julie Harris from AZ and Ashley Morris from MN; and Feb 27th, Samantha Hebrank from MN.
We sincerely hope each and every one of you had/will have the best birthday EVER and party…party…party…and think of us when you do.
Fino alla prossima volta…
-
January 7
HAPPY 2011, EVERYONE! Are you as excited about this new year as we are? You should be.
For the first time in quite sometime, Arizona is NOT the first venue for The Tortuga Twins. It’s true…it’s true. This year we proudly announce that a blended Tortuga Twins team will be performing at the Florida Renaissance Festival…in Miami, Florida. Yep, you read it right, Florida fans! D’Angelo, Lucio and Coviello will be performing January 15th, 16th, 17th, 22nd, 23rd & 24th (student day) on the Crown Stage (yeah, we know, seems to be a common name for our stages). Warm Florida sun and sexy Tortugas…who could ask for anything more? We’ll let you know how things go!
2011
Scaramouche was busy sending out Press Packs to lots and lots of venues during 2010 trying to put the word out to as many Festivals and Events as possible so that more people can enjoy all that is Tortuga. If you live somewhere near a Festival that Tortugas do NOT perform at, feel free to contact your festival and make sure they know just how much you’d like to see us there.
What else is in the works, you may ask?
1) The boys are currently working on their new stage show (exciting, I know!)
2) They’re filming new youtube video shorts (we know EVERYONE likes those)
3) And…there’s talk of flying someone to AZ or Minnesota to film the R-Rated show. (How cool is that?!)We still have the Tortuga Twins Cook Book coming out sometime this year, too.
Stay tuned for all of this and SO much more!
See ya down the road…
-
December 25
Ah for the wonders of a White Christmas! I hope everyone is having a lovely Holiday Season. As this year comes to a close, we really need to finish up our updates with a word (or maybe 300 or so) about the Louisiana Renaissance Festival and The Sarasota Medieval Faire.
Louisiana Renaissance Festival
After the final weekend of the Carolina Renaissance Festival, our handsome “men in tights” frantically packed down the show, their homes, and their lives…then hurried on down to Hammond, Louisiana just in time for a very wonderfully scrumptious and loving Thanksgiving at the “Hotel Haueser” one day before beginning a three day weekend at the Louisiana Renaissance Festival. It’s nice, as always, to visit old friends who’ve become Family over the years. And…it’s always wonderful to see fans and friends at fest. The Tortuga Twins only perform the last three weekends of LARF, but they really try to make them the best three weeks possible. I think the fans agree by their posts on facebook. Let’s review:
“Wanda Hodges Greek ~ Went to the second show on Saturday and had an absolute blast. These guys are totally awesome. The big bad wolf that they pulled out of the audience was great which just added to this show. Definitely a must see if you go to the faire.
Lou Ann Schrotter ~ Never been to a Renaissance fest before. I was there with "Grandma" from the second show on Saturday. OMG, I LOVE Y'ALL!
Jeanette Marie Richard ~ Truly hysterical! From Granny (Marie) :) Was there with my drinkin buddy Lou Ann Thanks Lou for joining me!
Jennifer Kreyl ~ It was a blast! Well worth the drive from Carolina”
Salvador filled in for D’Angelo during the first two weekends at LARF while D’Angelo was busy working with Lucio and Coviello at the Sarasota Medieval Faire. D’Angelo did arrive for the final weekend in Louisiana, though. As always, Louisiana is fun and, as always, it ends way too soon. Thanks to everyone that came out and helped us make the funny.
Sarasota Medieval Faire
D’Angelo, Lucio & Coviello performed for three weekends at the Sarasota Medieval Faire. This is their second year in a row and they loved it! It’s so nice to have Tortugas in Florida performing again. The boys are doing their best to try and get into other Florida Festivals in 2011. Keep your fingers crossed. I asked Lucio & Coviello what they remember the most about their time in Sarasota. Somehow food, drinking and women always seem to be at the top of their lists (not exactly in that order). Hmmm.
Christmas
The Holidays found Tortugas spread out all over this great country of ours. Scaramouche and his family paid a visit to Family in Missouri where they weren’t inundated with snow, for once. D’Angelo was happily ensconced in his Florida home with his lovely wife. Salvador, Lucio and Coviello remained in Carolina to celebrate with family and friends. And…Raphael paid a “surprise” visit to Carolina to celebrate his birthday and Christmas. As a note, the ones that came/remained in Carolina were gifted with a White Christmas. It was the first White Christmas in that area since 1969. We will forever thank, or blame, Raphael for the this gift (depending on how you feel about snow).
We’re all looking forward to 2011! There’s so much going on in the Tortuga World. 2010 saw Tortugas performing at many different festivals…and everyone is hoping for lots of the same this year.
As a final note:
We would like to sincerely Thank each and everyone of YOU out there in our Tortuga World. You come to our shows. You buy our product. You interact with us on our facebook page and at festivals. You touch our hearts and you make us smile. We are forever in your debt because we know that without you the laughter would not happen.
Till next time…
Love and laughter to ALL! -
Carolina Renaissance Festival
November 21
The Carolina Renaissance Festival has officially begun! 10,000 people showed up to say “Hello”. It was a hot one…and we’re not just talking about Tortugas here. After leaving highs in the 50’s in Minnesota, highs in the mid 80’s was quite a shock to the Tortuga machine. The boyz, however, didn’t miss a beat. While fans in the Carolinas were treated to a team of Scaramouche, Raphael and Salvador, Kansas City fans were delighted to find D’Angelo, Lucio and Coviello adorning the Washer Well Stage at the Renaissance Faire of Kansas City. Yep, two sets of twins in two different states at the same time. How exciting!!
As a refresher for Carolina…The Twins perform on the Fairhaven Stage for four shows 11:30 am, 12:45 am, 1:30 pm, and 3:30 pm. Their final show is held at the newly refurbished (and quite beautiful) Sherwood Stage. One note about the Fairhaven Stage: If you look up you will see three yellow flags flying high above the stage. They were put there by festival management to signify that this is a Tortuga stage. Isn’t that sweet?!
In Kansas City, the Twins perform on the Washer Well Stage. Show times are 11:10am, 1:20pm, 2:35pm, 4.05pm & 5:15pm. The first weekend (Oct. 9 & 10) lineup was, as we already mentioned, D’Angelo, Lucio & Coviello. The second weekend (Oct 16 & 17) lineup was Salvador, Lucio & Coviello. Kansas City gave a warm welcome to our boyz in tights
Second Weekend
D’Angelo returned to Carolina for the second weekend and is scheduled to appear each weekend up until the final two weekends of Carolina, when he will be heading to the Sarasota Renaissance Faire with Lucio & Coviello which will leave Salvador performing at Carolina once again. Confused much? Whew…that’s quite a bit to keep up with.
Third Weekend
Third weekend of the Carolina Renaissance Festival already! The weather could not be better with highs in the mid to upper 70’s and beautiful Carolina blue skies. Talk about incredible! Halloween is quickly approaching and everyone is excited about that. On Friday October 29th the Tortuga Twins Gold team will be performing a special show for some very lucky college lasses (and lads) in the Asheville, NC area…a Halloween theme, ya know. I’m sure the boyz will be sharing stories in their November or December journals on the Fan Club side of this site. For those that don’t know, the Tortuga Twins are currently running a sale on their personal appearances. Be sure to check out the low, low prices.
We heard a rumor that Lucio would be coming to fest on Sunday, October 24, which also happened to be his birthday. It was a very fun day in which I witnessed the very talented Jon Wray (Lucio) exchange witty, and very intriguing, conversation with one very drunk patron. He is such a charmer and the tipsy female was quite taken with the tiny Tortuga. Of course, her friends all agreed that she would not remember any of the conversation and she had no idea that she was talking to a member of the Tortuga Twins (Jon was a patron today), but we were assured that she would be informed about every detail. Somewhere we have a picture of Jon with the girl…need to find it. We also have a picture of Jon getting birthday spankings from some very enthusiastic, and way too eager, fans. You know he enjoyed every minute of the attention he received. It was, after all, his birthday.
Saturdays shows were so much fun! Lots of playful audience members, great pics for the stage and much laughter all around. You’ll find pictures from both days on our facebook page and even more in the fan club section of our website. Coviello and Salvador even paid a visit to fest and everyone was very excited to see them.
New Merchandise
In case you haven’t noticed (or been to fest lately), a lot of our shirts have been redesigned. “TortugaHolic” and “Heckler” come to mind. We also have a new shirt for the ladies. Pink, ladies cut with a Tortuga Twin logo on it. Very nice and selling out quickly…so, please make sure you get yours before they’re all gone.
Captain Morgan on DVD
Yep, we finally have our “Captain Morgan” dvd for sale at the cart and online. The boys are very proud of their latest effort and would like to thank the Jeff Southwick and his crew for doing such a wonderful job. As you may recall, we filmed the “Pirate Show” in Arizona last year. You’ll find lots of extras on this dvd that we haven’t done on some of the others. We’re especially proud of the “commentary” that the boys did while watching the dvd at their hotel room when they were in Arizona performing at a “Sweet Sixteen Party”.
Weekend Four
As I sit here typing this, I am entertained by the sound of Raphael and D’Angelo talking about video games, gray hair and costuming. And now they’re playing a prank on Scaramouche. You know that they all wear the same vests in one day, right?! Well, today Scaramouche wore the wrong vest and didn’t match the other two. After the second show D’Angelo asked Scaramouche if he was going to change vests. Scaramouche sighed heavily and went back inside his home to change. While he was changing into the right vest, Raphael and D’Angelo were changing into two different vests and went out to wait so he would see them when he walked out his door. The look on Scaramouche’s face was priceless and everyone got a good laugh. Silly boys.
As I resume this update, it is noon at the Carolina Renaissance Festival and it’s a gorgeous day! My boys are currently performing Robin Hood onstage to a packed and very lively audience. It’s fun! I’m back in the Tortuga trailer cooking a little lunch type thingy for two of my boys to eat in between shows. They don’t have much time to eat during a festival day, so I’m trying to make sure there’s something here…just in case.
The shows? Oh, you want to know about the shows. Okay, well, let’s see. There were tons of eyeballs thrown on stage, Scaramouche explaining the different between Army & Navy (you have rifles, we have missiles…when we (Navy) goes to war, everybody dies), fuzzy biebers (they seem to be everywhere), self wedgies, ladies kissing D’Angelo’s butt, men rushing the stage (seriously), Scaramouche in a sexy yellow head scarf…so many images, so much fun! My favorite thing I overheard an audience member say to date? A guy with his family at the Renaissance Festival for the first time…and…their first show was a Tortuga Twins show. After the show was over and we they were walking away from the stage, the guy turned to his wife and said, “That show was totally worth the price of admission.”
Weekend Five
Halloween weekend has finally arrived. It’s always fun to see all of the little ones dressed up to go trick or treating at fest…the kids too, the kids too. This is one of my favorite times here at the Carolina Renaissance Festival. Everyone gets into the spirit by donning all kinds of costumes that impress and cause a certain amount of envy. Next year I’m really going to have to just take one day to take pictures of all the costumes and post them on the Twins fb page. This was also the final weekend for D’Angelo to be with us here in Carolina. After this weekend he, Lucio and Coviello head down to Florida for the Sarasota Renaissance Festival. Needless to say, we took full advantage of our time with him. This was also the weekend that Chef Jax paid us a visit. It was her birthday and she spent it cooking all of us dinner. And, let me tell you, it was amazing! If you ever get the chance to have this lovely and very talented chef cook for you, you simply have to take her up on it. You won’t be disappointed and your taste buds will thank you. You can visit Chef Jax on her facebook page @ www.facebook.com/chefjaxconcepts . If you want to be really cool, you could totally “like” her page.
Weekends Six and Seven
Weekends six and seven found the Sexy Salvador gracing the Carolina stages…and many a young fans’ fantasies. Mother Nature gave us a blast of cold, but I suspect she had her reasons since she knew there would be half-naked Tortugas at the end of the day. Heehee. We’ll let the fans leave their comments again:
“Danielle Cowper ~ Enjoyed seeing your 'Rated R' show yesterday, even though it was FREEZING!
Stacey Cline ~Its always a pleasure to see you three, regardless of the weather!
Jess Hodge ~ got kissed by a 45 year old man in pigtails today. Thank you, The Tortuga Twins!
Bella Bdb ~ Hooray for sweaty Scaramouche Hugs!!!!! I love the shameless plug behind my back LMAO!!! "Please Do Not Buy These DVDs!!! They are funny, you wouldn't get them!!!"
Denise Michele Ballerini ~ Still laughing about Chocolate Bieber from last weekend !”
The Carolina Renaissance Festival was AWESOME! We didn’t have a rainy weekend at ALL! The crowds were amazing, the fans…to die for, the time spent with family (you know who you are) and friends was precious…and very much needed.
Tortuga Twins Recipe Contest
We are proud to announce the winners (yes we said WINNERS) of our Tortuga Twins Recipe Contest! Our fabulous judge, and incredible friend/chef, Chef Jax (along with Tortuga Twins) have chosen KATIE ANDERSON's "CHICKEN LITTLES" as best food dish and MAE OSBORNE's "Triple Shots" as the best Cocktail! Congratulations to you both. “Good job Ladies, you're goin' in the cookbook!!!”
Meet and Greet
The Carolina edition of the Official Tortuga Twins Fan Club Meet and Greet was held at Dave and Busters once again this year. Although several different establishments were vying for our patronage, we simply love the way we’re treated by the fine folks at Dave & Busters in Concord Mills. Everyone had so much fun. There was much socializing, many photo ops, great food and then it was off to play video games. I think everyone was quite taken with the sight of Scaramouche (Ronn) in a jacket and tie. With our largest group to date, all Tortugas look forward to doing this again next year. Thank You, to all that came out to join us.
Next up…Louisiana!
As a final note: From time to time The Tortuga Twins are asked to help with a birthday song, or hired for an anniversary or even to help someone “pop the question” to some lucky (and very unsuspecting) lady. This year in Carolina the Twins had the pleasure of helping a single father of two, Keith, propose to his lovely lady. Arrangements were made for the proposal to happen during the Robin Hood show. Everything went off without a hitch…and, yes, she did say “yes”. Scaramouche received the following email from Keith afterwards and we thought we’d share:
“Thank you so much. She really had no clue it was coming until the last second. You guys were great (as always)!! We spent the rest of the day kinda just walking around with a goofy smile on our face. Almost all day people were coming up to give their Congrats. You all really helped make it a very memorable moment in our lifes and I thank you.
Keith”
It was a special moment and the Twins are so very grateful that they got to be a part of it.
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all. -
October 3
Performing at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival was unbelievably crazy…as always…but, since we didn’t officially have anyone reporting in about the shows, I decided to just let the fans speak for themselves. The following is a collection of posts that were made to The Tortuga Twins facebook Fan Page during the Minnesota run. I think you’ll agree that EVERYONE had a very good time!
CJ Sands ~ My first show.... amazing. Lost my voice from screaming and laughing so hard. Frenching the g-ma....hilarious. I won’t ever forget your show.
Brenda Opheim Hagel ~ Thank you for an awesomely fun time on Saturday! You're always the highlight of renfest :)
Raphael Gubba Eckhart ~ Thx guys, I haven't laughed that hard in years (literally!). Almost went hoarse from whooping and definitely looking forward to catching you again, maybe for the 15th yr at Mn RF? Be well!
Sarah Daeuber ~ Once again you do not fail to impress! My two Tortuga "virgins" had a fabulous time coming with me to my favorite XXX rated show at the festival!
Kristen 'Kei' Kurosaki ~ LMFAO not gonna lie! That day with Sexi Steven .... er Stephen(?) was pretty epic. XDDD ♥ glad I was there that day n.n
The Tortuga Twins ~ Hot German Girls, Naughty Scottish girls, Grand theft Otter, Joystick humor, Asian porn, Spank it boys/pimps and Fuzzy Biebers. Life in Minnesota is good! (ok…this one was us)
Tami Enquist ~ My very first show ever and you guys made it so memorable!! Thank you so much for getting my brother John up on stage to be your Hot Island Queen!!! I loved it and will definitely be coming back to see a show again!!
Tracy James ~ Saturday R-rated show at the MN Renfest was the best! Loved watching you guys crack each other up; and that 14 year-old kid! *lol* He's either in therapy or feeling like a total stud :-)
Sarah Conover ~ I just wanted to say that you three are amazing! This was my first year seeing your show and I am bummed that I have missed out on the previous 13 years!! I am going back with my family next weekend and I will definitely bring them to your show! Keep up the good work!! Take care!
Adam Peters ~ I've seen you guys show four or five times but this past Sunday was the first time I was able to make it to the "R rated" show. I laughed so hard, it was the best show I've seen from your guys yet. Keep up the great work, you guys are amazing!
Fuzzy Biebers, pickle hookers, three generations of sluts... all things heard at the most recent "R-rated show". So would you bring YOUR children to see it?
Joe Ethen ~ Just saw you guys get crazy drunk on stage in Minnesota. Had a blast as always. Happy Birthday, D'Angelo. Hope the angry lesbian didn't kick your asses.
Cara Curry ~ Thank you, thank you, thank you for the laughs this last weekend! My hubby, myself.,& our 2 boys were able to catch your show (not the R rated one though... :(
We caught the show where the woman took off her top and then her and the other woman kissed... I was laughing so hard and smiling so much from laughing! I haven't had my cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling like that in the longest time! I just wish I could see you all again b4 this year is done, but alas... I live 6 hours away :(
Take care and thank you again for the wonderful time!!! We will see you again next year! (but without the kids ;)
Katherine Fried ~ You guys are hilarious! I was very fortunate to witness the show involving the Shiny-Headed Yuppy on Saturday, and I nearly keeled over from laughing so hard! Thank you so much for the entertainment.
Gordon Kuhnley ~ personally i enjoyed the saturday R rated show the most. that bachelorette party was hilarious.
Phil Bates ~ I wasn't at today's, but I was at yesterdays last show of the day...I was right next to the (lesbian?) girl who was with the Asian School girl who looked like she wanted to destroy all of you with her bare hands. Man I was laughing so hard! Was my first time seeing you and you three gave me and my new wife an experience we'll never forget!”
Minnesota weather was all over the place this year. It was sweltering hot in the beginning, then there was rain to contend with and then…cold…really, really cold. And…it was fun! Friends, family, fans, D’Angelo’s birthday, a visit from Lucio, Renaissance Jesus, bachelorette party, Royal Wedding, drunk patrons, a mysterious Lady in Red and…Tortugas in kilts. Seriously, can it get any better or wilder? Fortunately, the answer is “Yes”! Stay tuned for 2011 when The Tortuga Twins do it all again…even better!
Up next…Carolina.
Till then…
Love and laughter to all! -
August 15
August 15…Yes, we know it’s been a while since there’s been an update and we sincerely apologize to all of you for that. There’s just been so much going on that some things have been missed lately. Again…we apologize.
The final weeks of the Georgia Renaissance Festival were hot. Very, very HOT! We’re talking the weather here folks. We did not, however, experience the rain that was predicted every weekend. Well, there was that one afternoon when Barely Balanced got absolutely drenched, but the Twins faired fairly well. Yours truly got soaked, but that’s only because I was helping to attempt to protect Tortuga merchandise. Ya know, like a good TortugaHolic would.
The weekend of May 22nd and 23rd found not three but SIX Tortuga Twins running around. While the Gold Team (Scaramouche, Raphael and D’Angelo) performed on the Halfwit Harbor Stage, the Blue Team (Salvador, Lucio & Coviello) were prancing across the Queen’s Cottage Stage. It made for a wild and crazy Georgia weekend that none will soon forget! I do believe that was the hottest weekend EVER in Georgia.
Leaving all the fun, the fans, the friends and the family in Georgia was really, really hard…but, the memories taken were really, really awesome! No one can wait until we do it all again next year.
As a note, the boys signed their contract and will be back in Georgia for another three years. Woot!
Georgia Meet and Greet
The wonderful Georgia Chapter of the Tortuga Twins Fan Club got to spend a little time with the boyz at their annual Meet and Greet. As with last year, there was bowling, laser tag and what looks like bumper cars…not to mention the schmoozing, drinking, pizza eating and just generally hanging out and having a good time. We’d like to thank the fine folks at Pin Strikes in Stockbridge, GA for their hospitality and taking care of everyone so fabulously!
If you check out the schedule for the boyz, you’ll find that much is happening for both the Gold and the Blue Teams. So much excitement! There’s Silver Leaf Renaissance Faire, Bristol Renaissance Festival, New York Renaissance Festival…and talk of Kansas City Renaissance Festival…a college gig in North Carolina and a couple of private parties. So much to do…so many wonderful places to go…people to entertain…trouble to get into. We LOVE it! We seriously think you should check out our schedule and plan to come and see us. No…really!
It’s a CONTEST…
We sent out a notice (to everyone that signed up for such notices) about a little recipe contest we’re having. We’re looking for “Tortuga themed” recipes to include in our new Tortuga Cookbook. Enter your best recipe and perhaps you will be included in this fantastic culinary extravaganza. Hit our contest submission page for more details. I believe it has now been decided that Cocktail recipes should be included too! Go figure.
BIRTHDAYS
We need to give a shout out to our Fan Club members with birthdays to celebrate.
April
April 1st, Joanna Holland from MN and April Kott & Ben Lemer from AZ; April 3rd, Mandy Colliatie from AZ; April 4th, Murleen Reeves from AZ; April 5th, Veronica Hitch from GA and Jennifer McGee from MN; April 7th, Amanda Nerud from MN and James Songster from GA; April 10th, Jude Alexander, Xenophilius Cosmos & Phillip Murray from GA; April 11th, Renita Hartman from GA; April 13th, Jennifer Soubeyroux from GA; April 15th, Deborah Madrigal from AZ and Elizabeth Wise from MN; April 18th, Pamela Foucher & Erica Hagood from GA;, April 19th, Kimberly Deal from AZ and William David Krenz and Christa Young from MN; April 20th, Amanda Ney from Ga; April 22nd, Angela Wolf from MN; April 23rd, Fig Chandler from OH; April 24th, Amanda Gorski from AZ and April 30th, Alena Paschal from AZ.
May
May 1st, Kay Kinsey from MN; May 2nd, Subrina Harmon from AZ and Tee Jay Nantz from NC; May 5th, John Lawson from NC; May 12th, Danielle Davidson from AZ; May 13th, Chevon Stockwell, Robyn Clemmer and Michael Smith from AZ; May 15th, Arlie Reed from GA; May 16th, Sharon Hesson from AZ; May 17th Kelly Roering from MN; May 18th, Laura Janick and Michelle Mahowald from MN; May 20th, Kelli Broom and Dave Esperaza from AZ; May 21st, Joanie Hinton from AZ and Sharron McElroy from NC; May 22nd, Jennifer Mardis from GA and Danielle Orton from AZ; May 24th, Jessica Marcellais and Lexi Zebroski from MN; May 25th, Coatney Cunningham and Sam Glickman from AZ; May 28th, Dani Garrity from AZ and Kevin Niles from MN; and May 31st, Daniel Baker from GA.
Happy Birthday, EVERYONE!!
Before we go, it’s important that we mention a couple of people that sent us pictures to share.
Jennifer Holland played Maid Marion and sent us this “Kodak Moment”.
In our last update, we posted a picture of Fredick Nicholas Webb which his Mom, Nicole Webb sent us. We have another picture of our newest Tortuga Fan, Nathaniel Lee Webb, Jr. Here’s the pic and the note Mom sent with it.
“Hey! I promised to keep you updated on the new baby when I saw you a few weeks ago. So I wanted to let you know that I had the baby on Saturday morning at 5:24am (May 29th). He is 7lbs 12 ounces 20 inches long. His name is Nathaniel Lee Webb JR. His big brother is very proud and oober excited! I wish there were a little more time left for the faire in Atlanta so I could get him out there to get his picture with you like his big brother. That would definitely be something to have ;) I hope things are well with you and the other twins! It was wonderful to see you! Have a great memorial day!!!
Niki”
On that note…
Till next time,
Love and laughter to all! -
Silver Leaf Renaissance Festival
July 10
Today was opening day at Silver Leaf Renaissance Festival and the first day of the first of three weekends that The Tortuga Twins will be performing there. And what did we hear from our fabulous men in tights after the day was done? "It's a lovely Faire with wonderful patrons." Since I wasn't there in person, I'm not really sure how the Michigan audiences felt about the Gold Tortugas, but I'm sure they'll come to love them, as we all do, very soon.The Twins performed four shows a day on the Crown Stage (yep, there’s one in Michigan too). Times are 10:45 a.m., 12:45 p.m., 3:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. They performed three weekends…July 10th thru July 25th.
July 25
The final two weekends saw rain...lots and lots of rain. So much so that on the final day the festival site looked like a marsh. There was standing water everywhere. Happily there were a few brave and hardy souls that came out to enjoy one last glimpse of Tortugas. We hope you caught the video the Twins made during one of the traveling days, “Sparta”. If not, be sure to check it out on the Tortuga Twins youtube page. You’ll find more fun travel videos there as well. I, personally, hope they keep doing this sort of thing. I loved it and know you will too. Recommend watching: Ronn, Riki, and Jef lip-syncing to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Priceless!!Siouxland Renaissance Festival
Almost missed it, but gotta mention that the Tortuga Twins Blue Team made a one weekend appearance at the Siouxland Renaissance Festival in Sioux Falls, SD. Salvador, Lucio & Coviello were lucky enough to have Deb Johnson sponsor them for the weekend. They performed their hearts out and were really well received by all. To sum it up, the guys had a blast and hope to be able to do it again next year. A big “thanks” to Deb for taking such good care of the Blue boys. You’re the BEST!! When I asked the boys for their favorite memories from this weekend, this is what I got: Coviello: “Siouxland had one of the best afterparties” and collectively “Performing at Siouxland was just so much fun! The people were so friendly and accepted us as part of their family.”
Bristol Renaissance Faire
Aug 2
Day two of the first of two weekends that the Tortuga Twins are performing at Bristol Renaissance Festival has come to an end. The Golden boyz are loving their time at Bristol and hoping to be coming back next year and for many years to come. As you may know, the Tortuga Twins began their road show at the Bristol Faire about 20 years ago making this an anniversary, of sorts. The Twins are happy, the fans are happy and Bristol management seems to be happy. Next weekend should be even more fun than this one was.August 10
The final weekend at Bristol was, for lack of a better word, FUN! Scaramouche, Raphael and D'Angelo were very happy to be back at Bristol and left with the feeling that they'd be back next year. Perhaps they'll even be there for more weekends. Here's hoping, anyway. It was nice to visit with old friends and even nicer to make some new ones.Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party
Follow the Bristol trip with a flight to Arizona to perform at a Sweet Sixteen Party and you have the makings for three very tired, but very happy, Tortuga Twins. On the itinerary...fly out on Thursday, prep for party Friday night and then try to get on stand-by flights back to Minnesota right after the party. And, that's exactly what they did. D'Angelo chose to fly to Florida to spend some much needed time at home with his wife and doglett, but Scaramouche and Raphael trekked back to Minnesota to enjoy one last weekend off before The Minnesota Renaissance Festival was to begin. It's been a busy few months, but well worth all the hard work.
New York Renaissance Faire
Did I say it’s been super busy here in Twin Land? Geez! Salvador, Lucio and Coviello performed for four weekends at the New York Renaissance Faire. I’m told that this beautiful festival is set in a Botanical Garden which makes for a very lovely adventure indeed. Fond memories for the boys: Coviello: “Hands down, dinner with the Vixens at Outback.” (as a note…Coviello always seems to remember the food, drink and women the most), Salvador: “Jon finding me a bar that had Sangria pitchers when we were stuck at the Secaucus Station in New Jersey for three hours.” (of course, he remembers drinking) and Lucio: “The craziest, drunkest wolf show ever. "I have a question!". All three were quite taken with NYRF. It was noted that it is always fun to see fans wearing Tortuga t-shirts at faires they have never performed at before.
Minnesota Renaissance Festival
Aug 23
The first weekend of Minnesota was a blast! The smell of beer, turkey legs, beer, other fried stuff...and BEER! If it hadn't been for the sweltering heat, the whole thing would have been perfect. Though I didn't get to see the shows, I did hear rumors of sword fighting with a walker??? and drunk Tortugas...oh my! Everyone is in agreement that it's good to see friends and fans againTill next time,
Love and laughter to all! -
April 25…
Opening weekend at the Georgia Renaissance Festival was PHENOMENAL! The weather was gorgeous, the crowds enthusiastic and the Tortuga Twins were ready as they brought all of the craziness they could muster to the stage. The Swordfighting and Stupidity (R-Rated) Show is always the most anticipated show of the day and our boys in tights did not disappoint. On Saturday Scaramouches’ (Ronns’) nephew became the designated kid to pick on for the show as his 15th birthday was happening on Sunday. There is a picture of Richard Austin Bauman on our Twins facebook Fan Page…if you want to check it out. He was heard to utter the words “Thank you” to his uncle several times. Seems he liked having the lovely, and older, ladies sitting next to him. Can you imagine having Scaramouche as your Uncle and seeing the things he gets paid to do for a living?
A little talk about our new Merchandise seems in order.
First, let us introduce you to our incredibly talented Tortuga Twins Merchandise Cart Manager, Rosa Valencia. Then there’s her helper, Minion Richelle Fast. Together they make an awesome team and are ready to help you with whatever Tortuga Merchandise needs you may have, as well as get you signed up/renewed for the Tortuga Twins Fan Club. Having said that…we have merchandise that is new to Georgia, some of which can be bought online right here on this site in our Tortuga store. Carolina and Arizona folks have been introduced to the “Vodka” shirts already. Very fashionable with its’ blue color and tie-dye…and it’s selling like crazy! We also have a red shirt with tie-dye that is our beer shirt. And, folks, if you want one of these for your collection, you should really get it now. Looks like we may not be ordering these again. I believe we’ve already mentioned (in a previous update) about our redesigned “Heckler” and “TortugaHolic” shirts. We’ve also redesigned our fabulous Cinch Saks…and are quite proud of them. From our pictures on our facebook fan page, you should be able to see our redesign of Lagerhead, our cutie pie TortugaHolic mascot. Isn’t he just the most adorable thing EVER?! You’ll also find this little guy on some of our “Bootie Shorts”. We do have one more shirt that made a brief appearance in Arizona, but I’ll tell you about that one when it makes its’ way to Georgia soon. Need to remind you that we still have some of the Pewter Tortuga Pins available at the cart for only $10.00, as well as the wooden ones (which lots of fans are getting autographed by the Twins) for only $5.00. We sold a ton opening weekend and don’t anticipate them being around by the end of Fest (if they make it that long). So…if ya want ‘em, buy ‘em soon. Pictures of the pins can be found on our facebook Fan Page.
Speaking of our facebook Fan Page…we would like to invite each and every one of you to drop by our little page and press the like button. Then, if you would be so kind, just suggest us to your friends so our little Tortuga World on facebook can grow larger and larger. We do visit this site daily and have even been known to answer a question or two. There are also pictures there from opening weekend, if you’d care to check out what you missed.
Weekend Three
As reported by Rosa Valencia:
“Here are a few highlights I thought couldn't go unmentioned. Saturday: during the introduction of the Tortugas, Scaramouche was having a sneezing attack, this is how it went.
"This is D'Angelo, and this is 'Sneezy'...(pause for sneeze)...and this is Raphael" lol I got a kick out of that. I'm sure everyone saw the pic of the girl with the "he is gay" shirt. Scaramouche drug the 15 year old girl onstage and stood her next to Raphael then sat her next to a teen boy in the audience. That was priceless. Casey from Barely Balanced popped her head from behind the stage and flipped the guys off during the show and D”Angelo made the comment "I thought they were an acrobatics show, not a bird show!" the crowd roared. Sunday: during the second Robin show, the cast they picked was a hoot. Marrion hopped up and down giving the guys and the crowds a show during the "reveal herself" line, the evil sheriff was a man in a kilt (a great choice for a windy day lol) and the guys made comments about holding the skirt down to not flash the audience. He also did one of the best "sneaky sneaks" I've seen in a long time. during the little "gold digger" skit where Raphael sings and dances, D’Angelo replied "hey Kanye, why don't you give Taylor her moment," that was hysterical for me because I can't stand either Kanye or Taylor lol. During the Troy Story show, the whole Santa Clause and weird uncle Jimmy bit Scaramouche started his 'sneezures' again and announced he was allergic to Santa. and in reference to the new AZ immigration laws, Scaramouche commented to Raphael during his bad spanish accent bid about AZ and "better have your papers!" and the crowd lost it, it was great.”
Weekend Four
As reported, once again, by Rosa:
“Sat the crowds were roaring louder than I have heard here in GA! The boys picked great people for their all their shows and the audience loooved it! During the Big Bad Wolf show, granny was a riot! She was sassy and fun, even did a lil bump and grind dance for everyone during the "go granny" part! The wolf was also very funny with his sneeky sneeks and his howls. Sunday, during Robin Hood, they picked a body builder/marine type for the part of the evil sheriff, he was hysterical carrying D’Angelof across stage on his back and doing that awesome Terry Cruz peck jiggle thing for Scaramouche, so Scaramouche grabbed him by the hand and drug him backstage in amazement, then the guy started showing off so Scaramouche kept grabbing his chest, it was hysterical. Crazy busy weekend! Perfect weather! Awesome crowds and audience participation!”
Weekend Five
It was hot. It was humid. And…it was lovely. Since the weatherman called for rain on Saturday and Sunday a whole lot of people stayed home. It never did rain, but The Tortuga Twins had a fabulous time anyway. On Saturday…the audience picks for Robin Hood were awesome! Marian was playful and, apparently, had lots of kids. Robin Hood was really good. His “Go ahead, make my day” was so good that all three Twins got on their knees and bowed to him. The Sheriff, however, was funny in his own way. My favorite quotes from that show were “Wow, he’s kinda jumpy.” “Someone’s been to prison.” And “He’s gonna shank you, dude.” Portions of the show were filmed and will probably turn up in the Fan Club section of this site at some point. On Sunday…a special request was made for the Twins to do Troy Story. As there are only four time slots for Tortuga Twins shows, Troy Story isn’t seen much in Georgia. Personally, it’s one of my favorites. This show was also filmed and will definitely be up for your viewing pleasure on the Members side of this site soon. (Apologies for the shaky filming…new camera for me and I’m not quite used to it yet.) This show showcases the boys in all their glory. Yes, the R-Rated show is naughty and oh so very fun, but Troy Story hold a very special place in my heart. I mean really…Scaramouche as Paris (Hilton, that is) whisking “Helen of Troy” to Troy “Oh I love that dress. I have that same dress at home.” “And this is how the cougar makes his kill.” Then there’s D’Angelo’s Achilles with his “helmet head” and Paris swooning at his feet…”swoon…swoon…swoon…swoon” with mention of changing D’Angelo’s name to Dangelo. We get to see the most wonderful “impregnable wall”. Let us not forget Raphael’s “Hector the brave” and his twin brother “Jesus, the demon landscaper of Sparta.” Ahhh…you really have to see it to know what I mean. To sum it up, it was a lovely weekend fill with much Tortuga love and that’s my favorite kind of weekend.”
In closing…
We’re told that the Tortuga Twins are an inspiration in many ways. We know that there have been many fans that have gotten Tortuga Twins tattoos in one form or another over the years. Fan Club Member, Jen Bomesberger sent us this picture to share. It looks pretty good to us.
Also…we’d like to share a couple of pictures of Frederick Nicholas Webb (now aged 4) which his mom, Nicole Webb, sent Scaramouche recently. He first saw the Tortuga Twins when he was 2 months old. The following is a note from Mom:
“Thank you very much! Scaramouche asked me to please make sure I send these pics to the site. Also on a side note I really want them to know what awesome people they are! Scaramouche and D'Angelo were so sweet to my son on Sunday. He was tickled at how they treated him. It really meant the world to him! He’s been telling everyone all day! He thought that was the coolest thing in the world. It’s amazing how much they touch peoples lives! And Scaramouche really made me feel good when he made a big deal about seeing a picture of him and my son when my son was 3 months old! It was so amazing to see him care so much for the fans! They have a fan for life and I will bring others on board I promise! Thank you so much for everything!”
Nicole Webb
It’s good to be a Tortuga!
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all. -
March 29…
The final weekend of the Arizona Renaissance Festival was one to remember in oh so many ways. The weather was finally gorgeous! Actually it was the last several weekends which created a nice change from all of the rain that happened during the previous weeks.
Weekend Four
“I believe it was Saturday the 27th when we had a Big Bad Wolf show run amok. I think they've only performed Big Bad Wolf two or three times this season, so it was nice to have the moment stand out. I actually made some notes, but I haven't been able to find them. Such is life. I do know that we were convinced the Wolf was going to steal the show...he was howling and getting a little too much pleasure out of the rub-the-tummy/tweak-the-nipple bit, and quite the ham ... but then Raphael said something to the nice little old lady playing Red Riding Hood (I believe it must have been where he tells her to burst in) and she responded with "well, not since last night!" He said "too much information" and she began to try and explain herself! LOL! And she pointed out her hubby in the audience! It just got worse after that. I believe the guys even bowed down to her at some point.”
Weekend Five
“The weekend after that, we had another great Saturday. The Swordfighting &Stupidity show was off the hook. We had hit xXx well before something was said that prompted Scaramouche to bend over and offer his backside with a particularly naughty comment. Raphael looks at the board and wondered aloud just where you could go from there ... he finally settled for pulling it off and turning it upside down (like that makes any difference) because it was the only thing left to do.”
Weekend Six
“Last weekend was finally a bright, beautiful and very busy weekend!! I was absolutely swamped at the cart, and it was 4:45 before I knew it. Sunday wasn't much differend. I completely missed the last show, but I heard the audience reactions and I know it was a great one! Sherri - one of the cart wenches - was off that day and actually watched the show so I asked her to write up something for me ... but she didn't. All I know was Raphael came back to the cart and said "that was a Minnesota show" ... I am so bummed I missed it!!”
Weekend Seven
“During Robin Hood, D'Angelo went out to find a villain. He laughed and said "okay, I have to find another villain. Where's the stunt villain?" Scaramouche said "I can't wait to find out what he told you to make you change your mind!" I asked Raphael later - the guy had said "sure, I'll come up on stage if I can bring my seeing-eye dog!" LOL! It all worked out, tho, cuz the stunt villain was playful.
Maid Marian was pretty playful, too, it turns out. When Marian goes to spring her boyfriend and Scaramouche intercepts, she went right along ... and right back stage with him! D'Angelo told the audience not to worry - "this won't take long". It didn't!
Captain Morgan was fun. At the end, where Scaramouche turns to kiss the Island Queen, he said "did you get the picture? No? I don't mind doing it again ... " and he turned back to the Queen ... who rather adamently resisted a second kiss! Scaramouche had him by both cheeks (not *those* cheeks) and he kept pulling away. I'm not sure if he landed a second smooch or not!
There was a birthday at the last show. Not sure whose, but I did hear them singing to the red-headed sexy with a racing stripe down the middle whoever it was. My favorite moment of the weekend, tho, was during the show ... things had taken a turn toward the Twilight. Scaramouche said he was Team Jacob. Raphael asked, "the whole team?" Scaramouche responded "yep - we do it doggy style!" The crowd, as they say, went wild!”
The final Weekend
Sunday began with the sight of billowing black clouds of smoke rising from Queen’s Kitchen at the Arizona Renaissance Festival. Although the kitchen was lost no one was hurt, the fire was put out and festival opened as usual. Thirty minutes late, but it did open.
We Need “Tortugaholic” Help!
Howdy! We’re having a great time entertaining everyone as we hop from festival to festival…and hope you’re all enjoying yourselves too. It’s so much fun to have your support at fest, in our Fan Club and on our facebook fan page. We do, however, have a small favor to ask. It is our belief that our fans are the best, most awesome group of people on the planet! So…we want you to help us get the word out to anyone that might not know about our fan page. Simply visit the link below, become our fan (if you haven’t done so already) and then click on the “Suggest to Friends” link just below our logo. Our goal is to have in excess of 20,000 fans by the time the Carolina Renaissance Festival rolls around. Ambitious we know but, like we said, our fans are the most awesome group of people on the planet!!
In closing, we’d like to thank everyone that made our stay in Arizona the wonderful experience it was this year. We truly feel blessed to have so many devoted and fabulous fans, friends and family that are always willing to lend a smile and a warm hug along the way.
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all. -
February 28, 2010…
Can you believe March is upon us already??? Our fabulous men in tights are currently basking (or should that be bathing) in the glory of a little something we call The Arizona Renaissance Festival. Although the weather has been a little, shall we say, uncooperative, Scaramouche, Raphael and D’Angelo have been having a blast. It’s been so much fun seeing faces they haven’t seen for a whole year and catching up with friends and extended family alike. There is absolutely nothing like being in the desert this time of year! If you’re in the area and planning on visiting the guys (and, ya know, you really should), you can find them at and around the Boat House Stage each weekend now thru March 28th.
Our updates from fest are brought to you by…Cindy Gray…our magnificent Arizona Chapter Head. Enjoy!
Weekends One and Two
“I wasn't at faire opening weekend. I did hear tell of one interesting event, though. Apparently, at some point during a Ded Bob show, the voice of D'Angelo was coming through the sound system loud and clear. Obviously, he'd left his mic open ... but no one was quite sure where he was! He wasn't backstage, but had to be near enough that the system was picking him up. Bryon Howe, I believe,caught him and got him to shut off. That was amusing.
Second weekend was our three-day weekend and my first time on site. It was exhausting! To top it off, weather was beautiful - in the 70's - and crowds were decent. In fact, President's Day Sunday was so jam packed, they had to close down the parking lot by noon because we'd reached capacity. Audiences were full and shows were well received. I know the R-rated show was pretty wild that day - we were all watching from the cart and laughing like crazy. I just wish I could remember what all went on! Sometimes, you just can't keep up with the insanity!
One great moment was the bitch slap. It was just a little too real, and D'Angelo felt it! They came to a complete stop for a brief "oh crap" moment, then Raphael admitted it was a bit too real and a bit too hard ... so when D’Angelo. dared Raphael to hit Scaramouche, it was a slow-motion, very gentle move and D’Angelo. said "not fair!!" It was pretty funny ...poor guy! LOL! There's also been a lot of talk lately about the smell of purple .... !”
Weekend Three
“Updates. Well, the weather was crappy but to be honest the crowds weren't all that bad ... considering! Saturday was definitely better than Sunday crowd-wise.
Saturday Swordfighting & Stupidity: The guys were picking on a guy in the audience they called Santa's little helper, which spawned a series of bad Christmas jokes. The best one by far was during Raphael's "piercing" scene. D'Angelo referred to "it" as fruitcake - passed around from year to year, but nobody eats it! Scaramouche added that it was always hard, wrapped in plastic, and contained nuts. Also, during the pre-show, Scaramouche moved two hot girls to sit on either side of a teenage boy - not in itself unusual - then told him that if he was really a pimp, he could get those two girls to kiss. And they did!! That was a great moment!
Sunday was colder and crappier than Saturday. Still, the die-hard fans were there waiting to be entertained and our guys never disappoint! I know there were several things I meant to make note of specifically for your updates, but I think my brain is waterlogged!! The one thing that stands out is the fact that it began to rain (again) during the Swordfighting & Stupidity show and there was a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning while the guys were wielding swords! I didn't see it (was busy trying to cover the merchandise) but heard Raphael make a comment about holding a lightning rod in his hand. Rosa told me he dropped his sword, but Scaramouche stood bold with his raised arrogantly to the skies. Hmmm .... ! “
New Merchandise
I believe we mentioned in a previous update that we were working on some new merchandise and debuting it in Arizona. We are proud to announce that that’s exactly what we’ve done. Those of you from the Carolina Renaissance Festival have seen two of these shirts. The Designated Drinker shirts were unveiled with a little twist. The “You say Potato, I say Vodka” shirt is the same as you saw in Carolina…blue and tie-dyed. The “Beer Shirt” has come out this time in red tie-dye. We have also redesigned our “TortugaHolic” shirt and the “Heckler” shirt. You’ve really got to see these shirts! They are available at the Twins merchandise cart only…for now, but should be available for purchase online soon.
In Fan Club News
Our Birthday Peeps…
February
Feb. 2nd, Justin Hromi and Katy Trottier from MN; Feb. 3rd, Julia Gregos from MN & Katie Nagel from AZ; Feb. 5th, Pattie Hanvy from MN & Ian Wallis from NC; Feb. 7th, Debbie Stegall from NC & Rosa Valencia (Cart minion)& Julius Szakolczai from AZ; Feb.8th, Lynne Skinner from GA; Feb. 9th, Jeff Sharrett from GA; Feb. 11th, Lenna Lory from MN; Feb 13th, Daniel Avila from AZ; Feb. 16th, Kassi Larson from AZ & Heather Morgan from GA; Feb. 17, Abraham Kneifel from AZ; Feb. 18th, Deborah Paper from AZ; Feb. 19th, Hope Lockler from TN and Chris Collins from AZ; Feb. 20th, Williams Hutchins from AZ; Feb. 22nd, Becky Schade from MN & Paul Lehner from NC; Feb. 24th, Curtis Ness from MN; Feb 25th, Willow Balas from WI & Kasandra Collins from AZ; Feb. 26th, Ashley Morris from MN; Feb. 27th, Samantha Hebrank from MN & Anesa Vecciarelli from FL and Feb. 28th, Zoe Scott from AZ.
Happy…Happy…kids!
March
March 2nd, Andrea Israel from GA; March 3rd, Evelina Fletcher from Az; March 10th, Rachelle Thompson from GA; March 13th, Todd Monk from AZ; March 14th, Sherry Byars from AZ; March 15th, Phillip Morrison from GA; March 16th, Tiffany Kott from AZ & Chelsea Plain from GA; March 17th, Maria Gonzales from AZ; March 18th, Murphy Donovan from AZ; March 19th, Angela Wolf from MN; March 20th, David Frank from MN & Jennifer Webster from AZ; March 23rd, Tabitha Linder from GA; March 25th, Ashley Quynn from MN; March 28th, Stephanie Kalus from MN and March 29th, Jenna Clark from AZ.
Happy Birthday in the blustery month!
Join The Fan Club
Have to mention it (because we always do)…The Tortuga Twins do have a little Fan Club and we would love to have more lovely additions to our “family”. The boys have decided to leave the annual membership fee at $9.99. Remember, being a Fan Club member is the only way you can gain access to our “Members Only” side of the Twins site. Beyond those doors you will find the Personal Journals of all Tortugas (which are updated monthly) so you can get to know the men inside the tights and yellow shirts...streaming audio & video that you can find NO other place…their own personal pictures…fan artwork….information about all Tortuga minions (Chapter Heads and such). Your membership is the ONLY way to get an invite (and be able to attend) the now infamous Tortuga Twins Social (Meet and Greet) that is held at each venue the Twins work for more than three weekends. You get advance notice of any “Special” events hosted by the Tortuga Twins and…you get a 10% discount off of any Tortuga Twins merchandise you purchase. Pretty good for just $9.99/yr. You can join (or rejoin) by visiting the Tortuga Twins run merchandise cart at your local festival (when we’re in town, of course) or even right here!
In closing…
The Tortuga Twins have gotten some pretty wonderful notes over the years and we love sharing the ones that touch the guys the most.
Elizabeth Weiss from Minnesota (we think) sent this.
“Hey Tortugas,
(Don't worry...this is a good email.) :)
I first saw your show a little over two years ago at the Minnesotra Renaissance Festival during my sophomore year of college. I guess you could say I was somewhat sheltered growing up, but what else is to be expected when you're the first-born and only daughter? Anyway, your show was something I was and was not expecting. I was expecting sexual craziness...I have been to other Ren Faires before. But I was not expecting to see what I did. Vulgar moves, tight pants, half-naked men, touching and physical contact, public intoxication to an extent, dirty mouths and the language that came from them...
...and I absolutely LOVED every single minute of it. One of the best Saturdays of my entire life.
Sadly, I have never been able to make it back to see another show. Life has not been on my side to make this possible. I'm a senior nursing student, and currently I'm working in the ICU at the local hospital. I see and do a lot that is very emotionally draining when I'm on the unit, and the other day was no exception. I got home from work at 8 am wanting to curl up into a ball in cry. As I was walking though the kitchen I saw a bunch of coupons sitting on the table. What caught my eye was the one that had the "Easy Button" on it. I immediately thought of you guys because the show I saw you perform in MN, was one involving an easy button (in fact, there are several clips from it that I've found on YouTube). I sat down at my computer and proceeded to spend the next two hours watching YouTube Videos of your performances that people have posted. It was a good thing my roommates were gone because I was laughing a lot, and when I finally went to bed two hours later, I felt so much better.
Thank you so so SO much for creating laughter. It's the best medicine in the world, and you guys really are amazing and entertaining to watch. I saw the clip of when you guys got the Unicorn Award...and it made me smile because I was so happy and excited for you! You three truly deserved it.
So...please keep on wearing those tight leggings and stripping off clothing and making everything sexual...please keep the laughs coming. Scaramouche, D'Angelo, and Raphael: Best characters out there, bar none. Ronn, Jef, and Riki: Best entertainers out there, hands down. :)
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tumm invadant,
Liz”And on that note…
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all!
-
January 15, 2010…
A New Year is upon us and all Six Tortuga Twins are looking forward to the coming year with much excitement and anticipation.
The holidays found our favorite boys in tights spending time with friends and loved ones in different parts of the country. D’Angelo headed off to his Florida home with his lovely wife Sharon. Rest, however, was far from this Tortuga’s mind. His “extra-curricular job” with Designing Elves kept him busy throughout the Holiday season. Feel free to chat with him about his “other” business when next you come face to face with him…or, contact him at jef@tortugatwins.com. You can visit The Decorating Elves website to see just what kind of work he and his crew do. Raphael gave in to the temptation of “home” as he too spent his Holidays in the St. Pete/Tampa area of Florida where he caught up with friends and family, as well as celebrating his birthday in December. Along with all of the “catching up” he also spent many an hour working on several of his writing projects. Want to strike up a conversation with this Tortuga? Just ask him about his writing adventures and what his latest endeavor is. You can also ask him about “Why Real Women Drink Straight Tequila: The Tao of Intimacy”. This is the book he co-wrote (and published) with Sarina Stone. If you’d like to buy one, he usually carries some with him at all times and would be more than happy to sign your copy upon purchase. You can also receive your copy by visiting QMIWorld. Scaramouche and his family did the traveling thing by making their way to Missouri and spent their snowy Christmas with favorite family. Then it was off to Arizona to ring in the New Year with more family and friends. Details about his “adventures” will, no doubt, be posted in his next journal entry which can only be found in the “Members” side of this site.
Lucio spent his Holidays in Carolina with family and friends where the weather was frigid, and a little rainy, but tolerable. Salvador headed for Georgia to spend some of the holidays with the family of a close “friend”. Then it was back to Carolina for some bonding with his sister and nephew…work…Cross Fit…and FUN! And…Coviello did a little theatre…a little shopping…spent time with the family in South Carolina…met a new family member…changed his hair color…came back to North Carolina…visited with friends and did a little more work.
In 2010 the Tortugas have much planned to excite many a TortugaHolic heart. The following is straight from the boys (the parts in quotes, anyway).
“We have a pretty full schedule this year, but are hoping to squeeze in one more fair in summer. Stand by for updates as we get them”
As everyone knows (or should know), the Twins do not currently perform between their shows in Georgia (which ends in June) and Minnesota (which starts in August). They are trying to fill that empty time slot. A Northern Fest is in the running right now, but...stay tuned.
“We’ve begun the process of booking the Blue team for 2009 as well. Again stand by.”
And that is all we can say about that…at this time.
“We’ve begun writing two new theater shows… but we’re just at the very first part of the process, though we hope to premier one of them in Minneapolis this year – it may take longer than we think. It usually does.”
If you’ve ever had the good fortune to be in the audience for a TortugaPalooza show (whether at the theater or in your very own living room), you know just how much fun they are to watch. Well, the boys are hoping to do it again. I, for one, look forward to seeing what they have in store for us and know that it could only be lots of fun and tons of laughter.
“We should have several new t-shirt designs rolling out by the opening of the AZ fair…”
I can tell you that we have redesigned our TortugaHolic shirt as well as our Heckler shirt. Same as before, but better. The “Designated Drinker Vodka shirt” that was so popular in Carolina will be making it’s appearance in Arizona as well as a different colored “Designated Drinker Beer shirt”. It was blue in Carolina and is rumored to be red for Arizona. Now let’s see, that would make it four (4) new shirts for Arizona. Yeah, Babies!!
We’re also going to be offering the pewter and wooden pins that were very popular in Carolina. There will be a very limited number of these pins available…and, once they’re gone…they’re gone. However, we have set aside a limited number of both pins for Georgia and Minnesota fans for their faires. Pewter pins are $10.00 and Wooden pins are $5.00. We would like to thank Laurel and Steve Howell for providing us with these pins. If you recall, Laurel and Steve made several handcrafted items for us which were available for purchase online. Their Tortuga Twins ornaments, light switch plates and various other items were crafted with love and we truly appreciate all they’ve done for us.
You will also find some rather nifty “Art Work” for sale at the Twins cart this year. Kelly Roering, from Minnesota, came up with some rather lovely (and artsy) ways to showcase our handsome Twins. Be sure to ask any Tortuga Twins cart minion about them.
“And we’re talking-over revamping the whole website. We’re very excited both for our prospects, and for the country as a whole. 2010 will be our year.”
Arizona Renaissance Festival
The Arizona Renaissance Festival is upon us and the Twins are really looking forward to getting back to their Festival jobs again. Be sure to join us weekends February 6 thru March 28 and President’s Day Monday in Apache Junction, AZ as we perform 4 shows daily on the Boat House Stage. Show times are 11:30am, 1:00pm, 2:30pm and 4:45pm.
Tweeting Tortugas
Yes, the Tortuga Twins have joined the Twitter-age (well, at least some of them anyway). Go to:
The Tortuga Twins
D’Angelo
Raphael
Salvador
Fan Club News…
Our Membership campaign was so successful last year that we’ve decided to keep our annual membership fee at $9.99 per year. I know we say this a lot, but…you can join online/renew here on this website or talk to one of our lovely Minions at any Tortuga Twins run Merchandise Cart when we come to your Festival.
January Birthdays
Our list of January Baybees…
January 4, Laura Haynes from NC; January 6, Maryanne Rogowski from NC; January 7, Amanda/Mike Crutcher from AZ; January 8, Peggy Clark from MN; January 10, June Esparaza from AZ, Lisa Gaul from MN, Emily Nelson from NC & Brian Watson from Australia; January 12, Patty Brazil from MN; January 13, Christopher Foust from AZ; January 20, Eva Helfort from MN; January 21, Anthony Kott from AZ; January 23, Sonya Blau from AZ; January 24, Jean Caruso & Ruby Kujolic form AZ & Laverne Knight-West from GA and January 29, Russell Anderson from AZ.
Happy Birthday to All!!
In closing…
If we haven’t told you before, we’re telling you now. The Tortuga Twins have their own Fan Page on facebook. It’s a great place to chat with fellow TortugaHolics. We post questions from time to time and are always rather surprised at the touching responses we often receive. Recently we asked “What is your favorite Tortuga memory?”
These are a few of the many answers we got:
“Star Angel - There are so many it really is hard to pick but the closest to memory was this past year when my daughter gave all the gold team roses and got pictures with them. I took the pictures and made 8X10 for Christmas she loved them more than she liked her new sony walkman.”
“Jera Lee - meeting my boyfriend in their audience because they told us to sit closer together, and the time when i went on stage for little red riding hood, it was so fun and amazing!”
“Krystal Weime - Mmm at the MN Ren Fest 2 years ago, during Robin Hood a young man proposed to his fiance, that’s when my bf and I decided it was the perfect place to get married! We couldn’t miss you all on our wedding day! Which was sept 26 2009. Awesome memories.”
We look forward to seeing all of you out there this year!
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all!! -
December 1…
It’s been a while since my last update. Things have been oh so very busy and time just seems to slip away from me these days. Apologies are in order, but let me see if we can clue you in on how things went during the Carolina Renaissance Festival since my last update.
It’s a lovely day at fest today! Although the temps will be in the 50’s, the sun it is a shinin’!!! This is the second weekend of the Carolina Renaissance Festival in Huntersville, NC and my, oh my, has it been fun! We all know just how much fun the final Tortuga show of the day always is, but…this weekend has proved to be a little wilder than any of the boys expected. Saturday’s excitement??? Well, ya know when Scaramouche gets to the part where he picks on some poor unsuspecting teenage boy and drags some very lovely (hot…in his opinion) girls over to sit with him? Ya do, right?! Well just as Scaramouche was sitting the second young lady beside this kid, his Mom looks up and tells Scaramouche that her son would be more interested in someone like him. Now imagine the few seconds before it finally registers with our long haired Tortuga what that means. Poor Scaramouche was so flustered (which, believe me, does not happen often) that the only thing he could think of to do was plant a big kiss on the boy. Afterwards Raphael walks close to the kid and asks him how old he is. 15!!! The crowd roared and Scaramouche kept mumbling that he was going to jail. It was hilarious! There were also lots of “monkeys” and “eyes” thrown on stage…which seems to be a pattern when Brave Heart Matt is in the audience. On Sunday there was much man kissing man action (as always), but with a different twist. Scaramouche had just asked the audience if they really think they’re gay…ya know the part. Then he proceeds to pick this very lovely 20 year old blonde to kiss. After planting the “big one” on her, she proclaims that she wanted to be kissed by “him”. Raphael and D’Angelo are both standing in the aisle watching and look at each other. Turns out it was Raphael she wanted the smooch from…so, he obliged. Well this leaves poor D’Angelo standing there just looking around. Suddenly, this guy walks up to him (a rather nice looking guy with a pony tail…and a girlfriend), grabs him and kisses him on the lips. Frankie Defeo lost it! If you’ve never been at a Tortuga Twin show where Frankie D is in the audience, you are truly missing an event. Once this man gets tickled, he can’t stop laughing…and the entire audience gets caught up in it. The rest of the show had guys (and gals) sharing kisses with the Twins. It was also the first time that I have witnessed people actually coming up to the stage and throwing dollar bills down if they had to leave the show early. One poor woman did this. Scaramouche looked down at the money and asked her if she was leaving. She said “yes” while slowly backing away (you could see the apprehension on her face)…with that Scaramouche jumped from the stage, ran over and kissed her. Later a guy did the same thing from Raphael’s side of the stage. The guy took off running with Raphael trying to follow. Just as you thought this guy was off the hook, his girl dragged him back to the stage where Raphael kissed him. Total pandemonium ensued for the entire show and everyone loved it…including yours truly.
Okay…today is Saturday, October 24. From the weather last week having the mid 50’s for a high, we are faced with hot, muggy mid 70’s today and…right now it’s raining. It’s not supposed to rain all day, but…(in Ronn’s words) really?! Riki is, apparently, running late…as he isn’t here at 8:50, but it’s going to be a great day anyway. Why do you ask??? Because, we’re at Faire! All of our lovely friends, family and fans will be arriving soon making this the best life ever (in my humble opinion).
We now jump to November 7. Working the cart leaves me very little time to watch shows, but I keep hearing how truly great they are. This weekend we are missing our beloved Raphael as he is at the Texas Renaissance Festival with Lucio and Salvador as they endeavor to wow the Texas fans with their witty, and sometimes very naughty, shows. I know they had a great time and are hoping for the nod for next year. The weather in Carolina was gorgeous!! After several weekends of cold, damp and dreary weather, we finally had some incredible weather! Saturday’s highs were in the upper 60’s and Sunday was in the mid 70’s. It warmed my heart to see the huge crowds that attended each and every Tortuga Twin show. Coviello filled in for Raphael which led to quite a few comments about how Raphael has changed. I could only come up with one response to the person who made such a remark to me…really?! I mean, come on, Raphael and Coviello don’t look anything alike. Coviello was, however, well received by the crowds.
The weather looks promising for weekend number 6 in Carolina. We will be privileged enough to have all 6 Tortugas running around our fair. And, even better, the Carolina edition of the Tortuga Twins Fan Club Meet and Greet will feature all 6 Tortugas as well.
New Merchandise was introduced at the cart in Carolina this year. Our “Hot off the presses” Designated Drinker shirts are making quite the splash. Two different versions are available right now. Both shirts are blue with tie-dye down one side. On the front they say “Designated Drinker” and sport the Tortuga Twin name. On the back of one it says “You say potato, I say vodka”. This one is selling quite well. The other one says “Beer. It’s not just for breakfast anymore…” We also have a limited supply of pins available at the cart. Unfortunately, once they’re gone, they’re gone. Pewter pins with the TT logo and a rose are selling for $10.00 and the wooden round ones (same design) can be yours for $5.00. We’re just sayin’.
As a note: The pins (yep, we managed to save a few…a very few…for each venue next year) will be available in Arizona, but, again, they are in very limited supplies…so, if ya want them, go to fest early and get them while they last! We should also have more of the Designated Drinker Shirts…hopefully with some additional sayings. Again, these will go fast…so make sure you visit the cart ASAP before they’re all gone.
Weekend number 6 absolutely did give us 6 Tortugas running around fest…and it was quite heavenly! Unfortunately, yours truly had to work the cart (damn slave drive Robinson) so I missed the last show both days, but from what I’ve heard it was very wild and crazy. The Carolina crowds were excited at the return of Salvador and were quite pleasantly surprised with Lucio and Coviello added as a bonus. Good times all around for CRF patrons indeed. And talk about gorgeous weather…we had it!
The final weekend of the Carolina Renaissance Festival was…ummm…something. First off, the weather was not the greatest and that’s about all I really remember about it. Cold, rainy, dreary, sparse crowds…pooey. I was coming down with a nasty cold (which didn’t help matters any) and just was not feeling the love…or the fun. I was, however, very impressed with the amount of true Tortuga fans/friends that showed up to cheer our lovely men on in spite of the weather. They were the one bright spot to my lack-luster weekend. Not saying that fest was awful..far from it. The entertainers…participants…patrons…management and everyone else affiliated with fest were absolutely wonderful. The Tortuga line-up for that final weekend in Carolina was Scaramouche, Raphael and Salvador while D’Angelo, Lucio and Coviello were entertaining the crowds at the Sarasota Medieval Faire in Sarasota, Florida. It’s quite intoxicating to think of two different sets of Twins cavorting onstage across this great country. I can imagine the delight for people who are just now being introduced to the “Tortuga Style of comedy” that all of us have come to know and love for many years. I hope that they go away feeling just as loved, happy, content and sometimes flustered as I do each time I watch a Tortuga Twins show. After all these years, I can still find delight in watching grown men make fools of themselves as they lift my spirit (and overall outlook on life) with their humor. I do my very best to make sure they know just how much they have touched my life with their humor, companionship, friendship, love, acceptance, tolerance and understanding. Though quite often I seem to miss the mark, I think they know how much they are all loved…and not just by me.
On that final cold (in the upper 40’s) day, one would expect (hell, even plead) that the Twins not take off their shirts for the final show of the day, but they did. It is always their aim to please their fans and leave them with lasting memories. I for one have a ton…as I’m sure everyone that has ever attended a Tortuga Twins show has as well.
The 2009 season of the Carolina Renaissance Festival has come to an end, but the memories will live on within us for many years to come or at least until the Tortuga Twins come back next year to help us create new ones.
Next stop…The Louisiana Renaissance Festival!
I think that’ll do it for now kids…my next update will include all Fan Club updates, Louisiana news and a surprise or two (maybe).
Almost forgot…if you’re in the Florida area and are in need of some pretty fantastic Christmas displays for your yard, house, business, get-together or event, please visit www.decoratingelves.com. Our very own D’Angelo Tortuga (Jef Hall) does this kind of work year round and would love to talk with you about your Holiday needs. You can always write him at jef@tortugatwins.com too.
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all!
-
October 2…
Today is the start of the last weekend for the Golden Tortuga Twins to perform at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival (in 2009). It’s been wild (as usual), it’s been fun (as usual), it’s been naughty (as usual) and it’s been immensely entertaining for all Tortugas. It’s always wonderful to see family, friends and fans during this Festival. All Tortuga (and their families) hate leaving, but know that they’ll be back next year to do it all over again…and, for those that were wondering, the Twins have informed me that they signed a new three year contract with the Minnesota Renaissance Festival and are extremely elated to know that they will indeed be coming back to Shakopee again.
Weather for the final weekend was “nipple numbing” cold and kinda wet, but that didn’t stop anyone from having the best times they could. The boys would like to thank all of those that braved the elements and help to make it one of the most memorable send-offs they’ve experienced in quite some time. The highlight of the weekend (for the Golden Tortuga Twins) was when they were presented with the Prestigious Unicorn Award. For those that don’t know, this is an award that is given out at the end of each Festival season by the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. It honors those that have contributed the most to the patrons, participants and the festival itself…and is rarely given out to a performance group. To say Ronn, Riki and Jef were surprised would be an understatement. This award has touched them all deeply and they were so overwhelmed by the whole thing that in relaying the news to this proud “Mama Tortuga”, the emotion in their voices and the pride in their hearts could be felt across the miles.
As our Golden Tortugas are finishing up Minnesota, we find our Blue Team still prancing upon King Richard’s Stage at King Richard’s Faire in Carver, MA. This is the first solo outing for our brave young men in tights and they are loving it! The Crowds have warmed up nicely to the boys in yellow & black and they have gathered quite a following. If you’re in the area, you should really drop in, lend some support and show these remarkable performers much love. Salvador, Lucio & Coviello will be performing weekends thru October 25, 2009 at this delightful Festival and would love to see any and all that care to visit.
Sarasota Medieval Faire
Don’t forget that a blend of Golden & Blue Tortuga Twins will be performing for one weekend only at the Sarasota Medieval Faire. November 20th, 21st and 22nd are the magical days…so mark your calendar. You don’t want to miss them.
Carolina Renaissance Festival
October 10 will see the start of the Carolina Renaissance Festival for the 2009 season. The Golden Tortugas are feeling the tug and longing for the feel of fall in the Huntersville area. It will be great to see old friends, and make a few new ones, as well as connect with family once again. It’s shaping up to be an exciting year and we know you don’t want to miss a minute of the action!
Texas Renaissance Festival
The Tortuga Twins are proud to announce that a mix of Gold and Blue Tortugas will be performing for one weekend only, November 7th & 8th, in Plantersville, Texas at the Texas Renaissance Festival. If all goes well, they hope to be performing a full run in Texas in 2010. So, Texas Tortuga fans, if you want to see the Tortuga Twins at your Faire, come see the shows and let the Festival management know that you’d want The Tortuga Twins all Festival long next year! This is going to be fun!!
Till next time…
Love and laughter to all.
